2017 is already a wild ride

Let's NOT sugarcoat it, I am JOBLESS, unemployed, out of work, lazy millennial bum, trash, useless, inactive whatever is rolling off the people's tongue these days okay that's me.

I mean personally I'm not mad. I chose this. I willingly put in my two-weeks and left without at least making sure I had the promise of another job elsewhere. WHICH EVERYONE TOLD ME TO DO. My parent's (dad most specifically), even an old coworker who was like "DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID" But I was like,

"Nah man you found three jobs after you left this joint, I will too" 

NO. Hindsight is 20/20, and this is one of those moments I wish I listened to someone!! In my head I was like oh I'll leave this place and be able to find another job no problem. Not only am I having so much trouble finding a new job that pays me at least what I left HDOS with, but I'm also trying to set the bar higher and not do fast food. I refuse to cook other peoples food anymore. I can't. I'll serve, but not cook. Also I have to find a job in reasonable distance since I don't drive. I'm struggling okay. I'm twenty let me live and learn and frantically try to figure it out.

And to top it off I feel like I'm on a timer because Dom&co will be moving in and I feel like I need to be working before April so that way I can contribute my fair share, so it's like I'm on this crazy deadline of now one month. Plus I still am unsure what I actually want to do for school. I'm thinking learning a trade like massage therapy it's always hiring here, but my dream is to teach, but I have anxiety and today's kids are horrible!

Just let me... 

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~ 

all better..

I'm hoping if I play my cards right I'll get through this period stronger and on a better path then I am now... If I'm even on ANY path at all. Today I'll fill out some more apps, I'll study the DMV booklet again, I'll finish my FAFSA, but first I'm gonna go with a bunch of YSA kids to the temple and maybe I'll feel some spiritual revelation to help me through this. Not saying I don't have faith, but I doubt it. I'll be looking for it though!

On a Rainy Day

It's a rainy, gray, Saturday morning in my humble little town and what do I decide to do? Go out on a crazy adventure to get some crafts and candy for a dear friend who will be leaving our ward next week.

This friend like me suffers from anxiety, but unfortunately I fear hers is even worse. I figured moving must be really hard on her so I wanted to do some sort of nice gesture to hopefully help ease the anxiety that goes with moving wards and homes.

And thus the "Care-bag" "Goodie-bag?" idea was born!

I gathered some of my favorite "anxiety relievers" such as my favorite (CAFFEINE FREE obv) teas, face masks, and these steam eye things that honestly are gonna save my life! Plus some of my favorite candies and tried to wrap it up ala, "goody-bag" style. Which turned out to be way harder then I thought!

Things that trip me out

I'm 20.

This has got to be the biggest one. Whenever I say it, it just doesn't come out naturally. It's foreign. Like accepting I was nineteen was nothing no big deal. I wasn't excited, but it wasn't weird or unreal. Something about 20 though. It's powerful, it's honest to God scary. Maybe it's because there is no longer a "teen" ending my age thus signifying that by numerical years spent on the Earth I truly am a representation of an adult. Mentally though... I'm still feeling like I need to catch up. The only "solace" I have for this is that most twenty year olds don't know what they're doing either, so it's okay. Thankfully I may be "old" but I still have a life ahead of me to figure things out. 

But what scares me most is this thought I had. If I die tomorrow the news will report 20 year old WOMAN dead. And something about the term "woman" to describe me is odd. Like jokes aside, I think I'm starting to understand that old Britney Spears's MV when she's on the mountains singing about how she's not a girl, not yet a woman lolol 

I'm a Mormon.

This one doesn't shock me as much. Not much has changed since my baptism besides me not drinking or swearing* anymore and trying to be a bit more modest at least in public. Sometimes I do forget though, or it doesn't occur to me until I'm talking to someone in the church and I think something like "Yeah they're Mormon" and I have to have a Dora the Explorer let's stop and think moment and realize, "Oh wait... me too..." Most friends assumed I was LDS anyways and I grew up in a LDS family so I knew what to expect and was ahead of the game.

I'm attractive.

Or maybe not "attractive" but attracting? Not saying oh pity me I'm ugly. I can safely say I got over the whole low-self esteem routine once I left high school and had no more girls to compare to I guess, Idk. Wish I left the social anxiety in high school too can't have it all, POINT IS. I've noticed a lot more attention from male counterparts this year specifically. At first I just thought it was a weird alignment of the stars and the universe tripped out or something, but then I would attract more attention. Maybe cause I'm with the public more? A "Singles's" Ward? Idk. Maybe there is truth behind the whole "confidence attracts" sayings because I look and act the same honest! Only difference is I'm way more sure of myself. 

So that's cool I guess.

LUSH "Mermaid Water" Cocktail♡

Lush is love. Lush is life. Lush is probably going to clean out my bank account. Not like there's much cleaning to do

So, long story short Marshell and I went to Lush and I couldn't resist the urge! I had to buy my all time favorite bath bomb, the Big Blue. I also bought Intergalactic, but passed that to my mom. At check out the lady asked if I wanted to try a bubble bar. A classic upsell technique, but I was willing to spice up my bath time routine, so I asked her what she recommended. She said if I used the Sunnyside bubble bar with the Big Blue it'd make a pretty bath time cocktail called Mermaid's Water - 

AND FOR ONLY AN EXTRA $10.95, I WAS SOLD.

I know dropping an extra $10.95 is not cheap ok, I work minimum wage fast food for Pete's sake.

Now the thing with a Lush bath bomb is you can't just use them in any ordinary bathtub... Well at least I can't!  So I had to go somewhere a little less my bathroom and a little more class. I had to go to my mother's house. Sorry Pops, but Mom's tub has jets and a bluetooth speaker in the bathroom!

You know the house is fancy when the tub and shower isn't a 2 in 1 lolol

Before Big Blue

After Big Blue. Seriously the best bath bomb ever! It has real seaweed and the smell is heaven! Also the pink rectangle floating on the left is a My Beauty Diary face mask from the Arbutin Whitening collection! One of my favs as well♡

Here comes the moment I've been waiting for!

Sunnyside bubble bar. According to the website it's guaranteed to turn your day LIFE sunny side up!

The instructions said to only crumble half, I was skeptical, but I'm gonna follow the rules sooo...

It started with a mild lather which had me a little worried, but now is a good chance for everyone to see how adding the bubble bar also tinted the water turquoise and gave it lots of sparkles! "Mermaid Water" indeed.

Maybe it was the jets, but it did lather up much more later on and it was divine! The bubbles were so silky soft and they're was the perfect amount! Also it was glitter heaven, so if sparkles are your thing you'll be very pleased!

While all this was going, I had a classical music playing via the bluetooth speaker. It was this cute little playlist called Sunday Afternoon at Grandma's. I never wanted to get out! I took the time to pamper myself to a hair and face mask, snapchat my bathing experience (brag; nothing lewd), plus scripture study because I'm on that #InvestigatorLife now lol. #092416 ♡

Enough preaching though, everyone needs to head to Lush and treat themselves! 

Long time gone: Resolution check up and My life since

Wow, it's crazy to think the last time I made a post was in April! Ok quite frankly it's not crazy at all it's not like I was really blogging in a timely matter anyways so... I don't even write in my diary anymore... I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad.

I ended up stumbling on my own blog (after I once again forgot I had one) and decided to read it all because I'm narcissistic like that and I barely have any posts so why not? With great sorrow I read upon my 2016 New Years Resolution List.

Out of the twenty main goals I made for myself I can only say I've done four so far fml.

• "Go for walks with Cheesie. Ride bike to the park"

Let's be honest I am only doing this because Pokemon Go sooo...

• "Eliminate soda and other beverages I know I shouldn't be drinking from diet"

Eh, i'm still drinking Sprite and the occasional "other beverage" but I'm doing good.

• "Save up a part of checks for sole purpose of having a shopping spree."

Why did I think this was an actual goal??? I do this all the time and it causes me pure hell?? 

• "To not be a disgusting slob in bedroom cleanliness."

Actually did! My room actually looks quite nice lately even now!!

I feel so bummed because it's been EIGHT MONTHS. That's more than half the year and I did nothing. Like all seriousness I better go skiing this year and buy a sketchbook because I'm really feeling despair over this year I wasted.

Using the word "despair" made me think of this guy and omg I'm posting a meme from an old anime a watched in my weeb days I'M REGRESSING!

Well despite the current state of my resolution list I haven't done nothing. In fact some interesting stuff happened in the four months I was absent.

My job went down leaving me practically jobless and working other locations. My bank account went into the negatives for the first time this JUST happened today yay!! I paid off very old library fines before this so that's a relief. Payday is Friday though and my job is back so I'm not stressing to hard.

I am much more social. Not entirely by choice, but a big thanks to Pokemon Go.

Also here is a big one! I'm talking to LDS (Mormon) Missionaries. I'm also going to church as an Investigator for the first time and not a Visitor. I always said that if I ever joined a church it'd be the Mormon church. Mainly because I grew up with it in a way. My family is mainly LDS and I've been visiting since Primary. I went to Young Womens and Girls' Camp and even now without my grandparents taking me I am going and attending the Relief Society meetings (among other YSA meetings). I know how the church culture goes for the most part and never feel quite right when I'm in another type of church or worship service. Also most importantly I believe in this church and what it has to offer.

September 24 exactly one month from today is the day of my baptism.

I went to a Too Faced event at Ulta!

Dominique signed herself and I up for an event at ULTA run by Too Faced! 

My dumb self came with a full face of makeup that the poor girl had to take off.

They had a bunch of makeup artist giving full makeovers and giving lots of tips and tricks! The lady I had, Erin(?) was especially great! She did my full face and did a lot of techniques I usually would never want to consider, but now I'm gonna try. Highlight, bronze, blush, bright  lipsticks, etc. 

Definitely inspired me to step up my makeup game!

*this too happened about a month ago and I'm just now getting 

around to posting it. I'm trying to clear up my drafts!

Oops, I did it again!

By "I did it again" I mean "I went blonde again" and 

by "Oops" I mean it was 100% intentional and wanted.

I feel this is a moment worth blogging.
even if it happened over a month ago whoops.

Ayee lurkers follow me on Snapchat though
@AlexTeriah